Fast & Furious Crossroads: The licensed cucumber in the test – Gamesaktuell

There are exactly three ways in which you can relate to the Fast & Furious films. Either you consider them to be brain-wrecking prolls thrown on the screen or you see them as trashy brain-out-of-action blockbusters, in which you just shouldn't question anything. Or you can take what is shown there at face value and introduce yourself as Vin Diesel drifting around corners and performing daring stunts while you roar the mighty engine of your lowered Lupo in a Burger King parking lot somewhere in the province leaves.

Yes, opinions are divided about the boom-boom-boom franchise. Nevertheless, we can fully engage with a group of recipients in this test, because people whose cerebellum is already running out of their ears as soon as Michelle Rodriguez lets off the first pseudo-cool saying will get the Fast &, developed by Slightly Mad Studios. Furious: Crossroads (buy now) Avoid alcohol-free anyway like a bricklayer. And, let's not kid ourselves, the only thing that the members of the Parking Lot Prolo Club read is some kind of summons. And only very slowly and you move your lips in the process. So, dear Action Schlock fans, this test is just for you. You better buckle up, because … You too will be disappointed with the game.







Dom and Letty are there, but basically Vienna and Cam are the main characters. Well, it's a shame that both characters are badly written.



Dom and Letty are there, but basically Vienna and Cam are the main characters. Well, it's a shame that both characters are written badly.

Source: PC Games




First of all, about the fairly manageable positive aspects of the game: It's short. After about five hours, the credits are running on the screen and you can devote your time to more meaningful things, such as looking out the window or rasping the callus off your heel. You can also start an online mode, but we never found players there. Within the short single-player season, the game sends you to Barcelona, ​​Morocco, New Orleans and certainly one or two other locations that we have already forgotten because they don't matter anyway.

Fans of the series can also expect some passages that could also come from one of the films in this way. For example, you might race down a slope while rolling down a boulder, or jump over ships and an aircraft carrier in a luxury sports car to steal a cyber McGuffin ball, which for some reason is important. Of course, you have to defend yourself against the police as well as against enemies with strong motorized vehicles.

That sounds more exciting than it is, though. Yes, some missions actually exude the "charm" of the films and also the rather hateful trash faction will burst out laughing at some involuntarily funny scenes, but these moments are the exception. Most of the time the title is more Lame & Boring than Fast & Furious, because you just drive ten minutes to the mission goal, you mess with the bad AI and because of the outdated graphics it sometimes feels like you've pressed your eyes into a bucket of gravel .







A typical action mission: we have to overtake / break / jump on a bigger vehicle while cars of the bad guys attack us.



A typical action mission: we have to overtake / break / jump on a bigger vehicle while cars of the bad guys attack us.

Source: PC Games




The action passages almost always follow the same pattern. Within a time limit you have to stop a truck, bus or whatever by using the special abilities of the different characters. Vienna, for example, has a harpoon that she can use to tear off vehicle parts while Letty fires missiles. Meanwhile, nasty vehicles or the police attack, so that you ram them away with the shoulder buttons to ensure peace.

It's actually quite nice at first, because the action is pretty straightforward and it is quite satisfying to destroy other cars with one massive ramming maneuver. However, this also wears out at some point and as the game progresses, even more opponents stand in the way, so that the overview is lost.






If Crossroads didn't look like porridge and thus look pretty ridiculous, two or three scenes would be really nicely staged.



If Crossroads didn't look like porridge and thus look pretty ridiculous, two or three scenes would be really nicely staged.

Source: PC Games




After a short time, one wonders why Crossroads exist at all, because the title doesn't upgrade the Fast & Furious universe at all. Well-known characters like Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and Roman Pierce (Tyrese Gibson) are in the game and are also spoken by the actors, but the focus is on the new characters Vienna and Cam, both of whom are more annoying than a work colleague sitting across from you and eating a muffin with his mouth open, smacking loudly (greetings to Lukas!).

Vienna wants revenge because her boyfriend first got into debt and was then killed for it. On top of that, she has a really bad past because something went wrong in an illegal race. Cam is her smartass friend, who cracks jokes and has the beautiful and very often used German word "empathy" tattooed on her neck. We think it has something to do with a colonoscopy.

Well, in any case, the two characters see Vienna's friend being killed and by chance they have contact with Letty from somewhere, who then arrives with Dominic and they all fight together against the mysterious first mugger named Tadakhul, a criminal group led by Ormstrid (Peter Stormare ) who, for whatever reason, wants to destroy the world with something.







Peter Stormare plays the villain. The man’s choice of roles is now just as valuable as Nicolas Cage’s.



Peter Stormare plays the villain. The man’s choice of roles is now just as valuable as Nicolas Cage’s.

Source: PC Games




The stories of the films are not particularly demanding, but the story of Crossroads seems like it was written by a very sleepy three year old. Even fans of the series should feel physical pain in some places because of the stupidity presented in the game. An example that includes slight story spoilers (if you want to experience the exciting story yourself, skip the following two paragraphs):







Of course you thought it was a bulletproof vest, Roman. You can't even see the explosives on it!



Of course you thought it was a bulletproof vest, Roman. You can't even see the explosives on it!

Source: PC Games




Dominic saves Roman, who was previously undercover with the bad guys, but has now been exposed and kidnapped. However, it turns out that the "bulletproof" vest that Ormstrid had given Roman is actually an explosive vest that has been activated and is now ready to blow. Sure, you build timers in explosive vests. What is Dominic doing now? Naturally! He sits down in the car next to the extremely explosion-prone novel to drive halfway through the city and take him to the hiding place, where someone can take his vest off. It's logical.

In addition, the vest is now apparently connected to the car, because every crash ensures that the time on the timer is reduced. Once in the hiding place, Roman is simply taken off the vest (that was not possible before!) And you can fully understand how Roman could consider the explosives vest to be a bulletproof vest, after all there are obviously SEVERAL PACKAGES OF EXPLOSIVES ATTACHED to the front! ARGH !!! The author of the game either allowed himself a joke and wanted to see if he could get away with something like that, or he would fail the Til Schweiger script school himself.

But somehow we still can't be really angry with the game because it made us laugh a few times. For example, when the stalactites fall from the ceiling in a cave, hit the floor bolt upright and then simply tip over. Or on the mountain tour in Morocco, during which the developers somehow wanted to loosen up their time tracker mission, which had turned out to be far too long, in which we slowly climb a mountain. So they decided to drop rocks from the mountains onto the road.







Even if boulders fall from the sky out of nowhere, many missions are dead boring.



Even if boulders fall from the sky out of nowhere, many missions are dead boring.

Source: PC Games




Nice idea, but the physics in the game are so bad that we giggled at the weird tumbling stones in front of us. It only got better when we came out of the gorge to an open area and still – out of the blue – it continued to rain rocks. Then loud laughter resounded through the editorial staff, which the colleagues hurried to join in.







Each character has a special ability. Cam can hack, Letty shoots rockets and Vienna has a harpoon.



Each character has a special ability. Cam can hack, Letty shoots rockets and Vienna has a harpoon.

Source: PC Games




However, our laughter regularly sounded a bit more shocked at the vague driving physics, which is about as understandable as the confused gurgling in the Telegram group of a certain vegan chef. How can Slightly Mad Project Cars develop, but also crime crossroads at the same time? If you put the two games next to each other, it's like day and night. After all, the game isn't as bad as the failure Fast & Furious: Showdown from a few years ago.

Trash fans who torment their way through the many boring sections are repeatedly rewarded with absurd, involuntarily funny or incredibly stupid scenes that cause fits of laughter. After all, fans of the films get Vin Diesel and a lot of car action, which is even halfway nice in a few places and does justice to the over-the-top original. If you feel addressed here, you can fish your way out of the grave box at some point and you won't get angry too much. For everyone else, hands off! Especially at the current price, because all in all Fast & Furious: Crossroads is a licensed cucumber that you rarely see today and that you absolutely don't need.

My opinion

"Sometimes boring, sometimes ridiculous – not fulfilling even for (trash) fans."

As unbelievably bad as I find the first parts of the film series, since Part 6, Fast & Furious has stood for extremely stupid, but also somehow entertaining action-chlock. I really like the spin-off Hobbs & Shaw. So I didn't approach the game as a nose-wrinkling snob. Nevertheless, it was already clear to me after the intro that a real licensed cucumber awaited me here. The graphics are mediocre, the vehicle handling is strangely spongy and the dialogues are even worse than in the films. In addition, there were more and more boring passages in which nothing happened. Only a few involuntarily weird moments could induce me to get through Crossroads to the end credits. Among all the flaws, the title actually has a few okay approaches, but either the Slightly Mad Studios B-Team was unable to implement them properly or the game was simply cobbled together as quickly and cheaply as possible. As a result, Crossroads is really only to be recommended to the very hard-hearted at the junk price. Rather play an old burnout!

Fast & Furious Crossroads (PC)

Fast & Furious Crossroads (PS4)

Fast & Furious Crossroads (XBO)

Original (English) voices of the well-known characters
Some nice action scenes
Multiple locations
Over quickly
Good for a few laughs
Hair-raising stupid story full of logic holes
Dialogues in which the toenails curl up
Unappealing new characters
Lots of boring sections
Spongy driving behavior
Very repetitive gameplay
Stale Grütz graphics
Partly camera problems
Incomprehensible damage model
Very easy
Bad AI
Rubber band from hell
Partly bugs that force you to restart the mission

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